i need an iv and a liver transplant
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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