Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
