dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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