So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
