no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
