you guys were way drunker than both of me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'm bleeding and have questions
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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