you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
