I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
