In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
