just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
