Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
