first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
