I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
