GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
