No awkward lesbian experiences without me
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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