Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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