just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
