Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
