dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
