The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
