So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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