He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
