I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Acid is not a monday night drug
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
My vagina just recognized that song.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
