I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
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