What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
