Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
