Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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