Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
