i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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