have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
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