I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
