Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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