The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
