Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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