I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
God, you're like boner-b-gone
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
