I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
