i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
