Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Randomize
