I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
