i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
