6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
