We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
FUCK WHALES
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
