your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
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