The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
