idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Randomize
