so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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