I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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