He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
