K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
