you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
