just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
