yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
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