toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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